Meeow! See what i found beside ur computer. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

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cool cat!

listen to the cat. he is so cute and he really wants an cheez burgah! exept that he can´t spell right and the hanging tounge, he is pretty cool so he earns tha cheez burgah. find out what it says urself:)

 

This is a cats paradise!!!

The gho… err i mean the ghost cats have taken things and left them to the poor cats, who never even have seen a fish. this cat is one of the cats who gets see the “Cat Paradise”. not every cat havem been there. the ghost cats are now going to the mc donalds to snap some cheese burgers from some innocent people  who haven´t done anything bad. the ghost cats took lollipops from small children just to see if they taste good. ghost cats have tried to take weapons from the fbi center, and they gonna use them to stop the war. they want peace in the world. they´ll kill the soldiers who otherwise had killed people, and then, kill the brain of that plans. then there is peace in the world. ghos cats don´t like war.

A ghost catted dog

ghost cated dogHere is a litle cute dog, who had the badluck to have a ghost cat in his head. He can fly, because of the ghost cat, but only if the ghost cat want it. The ghost catted dog… OOPS! ghost cats hate capital letters. i mean the ghost catted dog  now want cheese burgers. of course it´s not the dog who wants it, but the ghost cat want the dog too want a cheese burger, so the dog also want the burger just because the ghost cat want it. so therefore the dog want it! understand? good. the ghost cat also wants to get the dog out of the image, like u see. it´s actualy almost outside ur computer. soon, it will walk on ur clean keyboard, so it isn´t so clean. maybe the ghost cat is bored w the dogs brain and want a new brain from a human or something that is sitting in front of the computer all the day. i think there is an easy target in front of the screen. YOU… excuse me, you!

Ggghos-st-t-t c-c-cat-t-t

Have u ever seen a ghost cat? If u haven´t, don´t try to find one. It should be the last of u! If the cat food(if u find one, u will have to give it cat food so it maybe let u away) isn`t good enought, it will kill u by a very noisy sound which crushes all glass in near. ur ears allso break. Ghost cats can be evrywere(even in ur head) and u can see it in ur brain if it is there. They love sticky cat food, but the favourite food is cheese burgers, like the most cats. when they gets into ur brain, it must find the ghost-cat flap. U can find it by the smell of cheese burgers and old, sticky thing. It can shoot fire balls from their eyes. These fireballs inflict 4 lives damage. It´s not good. It allso creep into animal-ghost-cat flaps(which doesn´t smells as much as human-ghost-cat flaps). The pig, who had stolen the fucking starship had a ghost cat in the head, and it was therefor he made it. ghost cats don´t like capital letters, so i just whriten a small one. DON´T TRY TO FIND IT!

Nuts

Chapter 4, Nut The school start starting

At last the day arrived that Warmnut have longed for ever since the summer holidays began, others call days. The hall was filled with screaming kids full with anticipation and adults who trembled before the school starts. School director held its bad speech, and wished us all welcome after the summer’s adventures.

Finally, now not only had the big moment arrived, but all students, all but Coldnut. But the teachers did not care about it, in fact, they were quite happy that he was not there, he was after all a rather sour nut that nobody wanted to lick. No one missed him, at least almost none. Warmnut probably would have done it if he had not himself to think about, he had put on his best suit most of the day to honor and hair, he had smeared with something with some old oil he found in the garage.
It was the biggest students who were called up first, then they became less and less and less, in the end it was Coldnuts turn.

Coldnut! cried Miss Teacher.
– Is Coldnut not here? asked Miss Teacher
– I DO NOT WANT! came a cry from the foyer.
– But please Coldnut, that’s okay.
– Yes, it is given. It shrinks!
– What do you mean?
– Look at the big students how little they have become.
– They will not shrink, they are getting less and less!
– Well, there you see.
– I mean, it’s not the same students who are becoming less and less, there are the new …
– How do shrinker that I am not new?
– shrinker?
– Yes, he who shrinks them new students?
– You mean those?
– Why they?

– Yes, them!
– Hmm.
– Not you, will you now?

In front of the school house was full of strange people with weird pants. They talked to each other with gurgling noises and rattling bullers. Coldnut stood there wide-eyed, stiff as a pancake without the jam. He was completely paralyzed by all that new. The school was changed, nothing was the same.

– COLDNUT! could be heard behind his back and front of his school. The voice seemed familiar somehow, even if

not induced him to turn around to see who it was.
– COLDNUT, turn around! By thunder!
– GRANDPA! Is it you! Said Coldnut not noticed that he had turned around.
– Come up in my arms, you little pee nut!

Coldnut jumped up in his arms as he always had done when he was little, like that really little, so little you can only be when you are like that really, really little, really.

– Grandpa, please, please! Dont give me your weak lemonade after school.
– Hehehehe! I had quite forgotten, I think, but that´s true, you never forget something, you little … Now you get show your classroo .. , Or no, by the way, I tthink my legs go home instead off and playing nintendo yoo on the television set.

Grandpa went home with his legs that made little mincing steps on the ground and it looked as if he were doing some sort of dance training. Coldnut paralysis had ceased and he was busy to occupy the school.

– ATTACK! shouted Coldnut.

With full force he threw himself headlong straight through the big glass doors. The glass flew and it looked exactly as if someone had backed into the door using the tractor. he


– Teacher, Teatcher! I love school! Coldnut said breathlessly.
– But that was fine, little Coldnut! said teacher.
– Can not say that I longed for school, but the sound of breaking glass makes me feel good!
– That’s something we have to change.
– What does teacher mean ?
– I mean, the music from the piano is the most more beautiful and will make you feel better.
– Broken glass is my music.
– Broken glass is no music, it’s just devastation.
– Not at all!
– Have I said it, it’s on this wise!
– I pinch my nose!
– But, little friend, you must not do that.
– I hate school!

Coldnut put her foot down, took his nose between thumb, forefinger and little finger. Slowly he became redder and bluer in the face, the silence in the classroom was total except teachers cries as reproduced through the whole school building. Coldnut was relentless. Teacher was out of his senses. The door is torn up. It´s the taxi driver Johansson and he ask for directions to Solbärga, that teacher is in dissolution and that Coldnut lies lifeless on the floor is nothing he cares about. He gets no answer and therefore he leaves the classroom. In the doorway he meets the ambulance staff and of them, he is no answer to. Coldnut who have now added the ring finger, as should help to keep his nose closed, is not aware of what sign he gives to the ambulance men. Ambulance men will be angry and does not tolerate such gestures, they leave the room immediately. One of them made the same gesture, but the teatcher missunderstood that it was meaned for Coldnut. She fainted, and Coldnut get his colors back. It was an amazing schoolstart.

Nuts

Chapter 3, Nut the summer holiday

Warmnut wanted to spend the summer with swimming under the warm sun. Coldnut would rather simply not celebrate the summer holidays. Then it became as it usually does. Warmnut took Pick, Pack, Puck and went the cabin with fishing rod under his arm. Fishing, it was mostly best he knew, ignoring the smell of course, that he could not stand. When he felt the fishy smell, he became stiff as a pancake without jam. One day he took the skiff and rowed into the bay and it was not long before he got a big fishy on the hook.
Pick, Pack and Puck was on the bridge and top up their tans they were unusually vain to be squirrels, on the other hand, it was not the squirrels any time. They hated nuts, at least to eat and was best friends with most Warmnut and Coldnut Since they also hated to drill with full military regalia as they came rather with Warmnut out to the summerhouse. They were now pressed for the full in the hot summer heat until they suddenly heard a scream from the bay.

–                                        PASS MY CLOTHESPINS

–                                         What? wondered Pick, Pack and Puck unanimously.
PASS MY CLOTHESPINS, I SCREAMED !

–                                        It was horrible what he screams, saying they are together again.
Clothespins. Shouted Warmnut.

–                                        He caen´t hange laundry in an old row boat.
NOOW!

–                                        Warmnut neids the clothespins,how do we raech him? Pick wondered.

–                                        Thet ‘wonder me also to, said Pack.

–                                        We get swimme out with theme, said Puck.

–                                        Me caen note swimme said Pick and Pack unanimously.

While they were about to consider who would have the delicate task to swim with clothes- pins as we move to another location far away from all that heat was called, and roasted nuts!

Coldnut took their boots, tents and toyriffle to the drill site. He set up his tent. Polished his shoes. Oiled the rifle. kerosene stove cooked for quite so that pea soup just sprayed and pork crackling in the frying oil, grease so that it smelled of fried oil. The stench and the peas were scattered throughout the area and then some.

SECTION, FORWARD MARCH! Shouted Coldnut so that the peas rolled away and the stench disappeared.
LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT, TURN … and so did Coldnut until he hopped on one leg. Clear maneuver.
EVRYONE MAN TO BASSSE, with 3s, go!

Once at the tent had gone cold soup and pork stopped stinkIing. Coldnut was hungry, starved air, death tired, muscle paining and alone. He missed, how silly it sounds, other nuts to hang out with, when he came to think of Warmnut and wondered how he was with his fishing rod.

At a time of unusually chilly night, yes a rather extreme chilly evening, it was so cold that the drop that hung under the nose of Warmnut had frozen to ice. Now he was standing stiff as a pancake without jam and the scow was frozen in the bright moonlight ice. Pick, Pack, Puck had been on there ice skates. Skate at full speed out to the boat. Pick of pinches. Pack with pinches. Puck of laundry.

–     whhattt dddo youhuhu wanttt? Shivered a tepid nut.
Laundry, we comes with laundry!
I NEED NO LAUNDRY!
Huh?
Do you see the string?
Yeah!
Can you feel the smell?
Noo!
Yes, there is no need for clothespins, the smell is still under the ice.
Ah!

From the beach they heard some rattling and roaring sounds. All stop and wonder what is happening. Through the noise, you hear a familiar voice.

BASE, DIRECTION, SHOOT!

Nuts

Chapter 1, Old school leaking

There were two nuts that sat in a room in an old school that was leaking water everywhere. All craftsmen ran around like crazy just because some old water pipe had burst under some old floor.

The room was a natural chill in the room that was not normal for the season, just because one of the nuts loved the cold, or rather did not like the heat, it was the worst thing he knew.

When he was little he happened to be locked in the sauna and there it was seventy-eight degrees, then the nut hated all that heat was called, and roasted nuts. a second thought, of course, it’s probably more due to the smelly socks!
-What, have you seen a nut with the socks?
-All nuts have socks.
-I’ve never seen a nut with socks.
-Have you seen a carrot with shoes?
-Yes!
-Well, where do you see!
-What, where do you see?
-If you’ve seen a carrot with the shoes so off course the nuts have socks.
-Oh!
-Yes.
-But …
-Yes.
-Well, there you go.
In this way the discussion went on, until one nut understood what the second nut had said that it did not understand when he took what he said.
After a while, when all the nuts actually knew how to buy socks, was the only problem is when these would be used. One nut believed that the second nut would be the knot if he had not tied one,
-There is a clearly need to tie it.
-But it’s shoes to tie, no socks.

-Have you ever tied a shoe?

-No.

-You see, when making, you are nothing.

-Noho!

-Yep.

Anyway, the actual area of use may be exercised only in the company of the feet, thus the body’s roots are not really there in the nuts, except the two crazy at school then!
-But, I do not understand when I should use them?
-Use your imagination!
-Imagination, what is it?
-There are things you just have.
-Type, socks then!
-No, it’s something that you have in your soul.
-And where does it fit?
-Not the nuts anyway, but you could try to find it in you?
-Should I try to find something in me that is not in me?
-Yes!
-How?
-See inside!
-Internally, wade inside?
-You know, like when you go into a house.
-AHA, I take off my shoes.
-NOOOO!

Star pig

Here is why you may not leave the garage door open if you have a pig! The piggy will steal ur starship and fly away from ur awsome hovel to space. Some piggs build their own starships, but it´s not important now. This pig hasn´t built the ship. If u capture ur pig in the boot cover of the starship, u will repent urself. U wont do it again.  bins are expensive. on one shop did it cost $30 and it´s a lot of money. Some shops does it cost $29,9, but it´s not so mutch different. once did i find one filled with great stuff. It didn´t fly better than others, but it was free. The pig luckily forgot the helmet, so when it will be back, i can trap it in a snare. Many pigs are very inteligent. This one isn´t. Next time i wanna buy an “anti pig system”on the bin. The rockets are smaller than the bin, but allso more “EXPENSIVE” I hate that word. shouldn`t the rockets be cheaper if they are smaller? And the gas which the piggy wastes. HORRIBLE! Do never leave the starshippy doors opened. NEVER! EVER! so u are CLEVER!

crocophant

A crocophant is a hybrid cross between crocodile and  elephant. It`s very dangerous and love human burgers. it`s the difference between roller cat and crocophant. Cats prefer cheeseburgers. A crocophants toot is deadly, the tusks are very sharp,(se picture)the tail can be over ten meters long and the brain can be bigger than a birdy brain. They love minecraft and can playing computer games in many hours each day. Minecraft is their fauvorite game.